Thoughts on Change

One day about 13 and a half years ago, I got up and left for school. It was a long 30 minute drive since I went to school in a different town than the one I lived. That afternoon, a family member (I don't remember who) picked me up from school took me home to a new house. I remember being a little confused, but excited. My new house had STAIRS.

Today, my parents began moving out of that house. I have so many memories from my (now) old home. I grew up in that little community, after all. For a lot of reasons, it will truly be missed. I am also sad because I realize that my parents new house will never really be mine. But my home is somewhere else now and I know that they would gladly take me in if I ever needed somewhere to go.

I think change is often motivated by our desire to make tomorrow better than yesterday, but is quickly followed by the memories you are leaving behind and the realization that you'll never get yesterday back. It is easy to be sad about change and the time that has passed, but today I'm choosing to be happy. My parents are moving for reasons that make sense for them and the season they are in. They are happily getting rid of the stairs and moving to a town that will be a really good fit for them. Today, I am learning to grieve the loss of time and the memories that were made in our time there with hopes that when I lay my head down tonight I can be full of joy for the change that my family is experiencing.

This I know for sure: The Lord is sovereign and He is good and I am thankful for the opportunity He has given my parents.


Anna

One Year

Today, I want to spend a minute talking about this guy:

Tyler Jay Haddad.

Today marks a year of us officially dating. 

Who knew that the guy I sat in a coffee shop trying to get to know just a short year and a half ago was going to be such an important man in my life.

This past year has brought a lot of really good times. There have also been some hard ones, but I sit here tonight declaring that there is no one else I would rather go through those rough times with. He really is quite the catch.

I love you, Ty. Here's to many more years of learning to love and care for each other well!


Anna

My August Prayer

It's here. The time of the year that our church works fervently to reach campus and incoming freshman for the sake of the Gospel.

For those of you who don't know a lot about the ministry I am involved in, here it goes. The Rock is a college ministry working to reach unbelievers and the unchurched on campus. Different from most college ministries though, we actually do have our own Sunday church service. We are a church and a ministry all in one.

Because graduation happens every May, as a college ministry we are essentially working to replace (at least) a fourth of our members every school year. We are working hard to get new people involved all the time because we have to in order to even have a congregation and community. It is hard work, but the people of our church learn an incredible amount from this outreach. Disciples of the Lord are being created every year as we put college students (like me) in situations to practically learn what evangelism and outreach looks like. It's hard. It's awesome. But most of all, it's worth it and as followers of Christ, it is what we are called to do.

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:18-20

From the day I arrived on campus two years ago, I have felt so at home at The Rock. I feel loved by the people there. I feel loved by Jesus there. I pray that others can experience that same thing at The Rock as we kick off the new school year. I pray that He is using the people of our ministry to reach the campus so that His name may be known and understood. I pray that we can willingly and joyfully obey the command that He has given us, not for our own glory, but for His. Most of all, I pray that people will be saved and come to know Jesus in a new and beautiful way.

I don't normally do this on my blog, but today I am asking that you will join me in this prayer. Please be praying for my community and Mizzou's campus as we work to build Christ's community.

I love you guys, and I wish you all the best of falls. Enjoy the hot weather while it lasts! It will be over before we know it.

Love,

Anna

Hello, August.

If you are a dedicated follower of my blog, then you likely noticed my recent prolonged absence. If you didn't notice, don't worry, my feelings aren't hurt. This blog's purpose is more for therapeutic reasons than anything. I suppose it's a pretty good way of documenting my life, too. As if there aren't enough social media sites getting that job done.

Honestly though, I just haven't really felt like writing recently. The past few months brought a lack of motivation with them. I have been reading more than usual, which has been amazing, but writing just hasn't come so easily. While considering getting rid of my blog completely, I finally decided that I didn't want to do that. I may be moving to WordPress in the near future though, so if you have thoughts or concerns about the possibility of that switch, I would love to hear.

Regardless of all of that, here I am. I don't have a lot to say, but I would like to share a bit of my summer with you all!

Here are some of my adventures:

A little time in Springfield

A visit to EP, CO.

Tyler had a dog for a minute.

It was an adventure, for sure. 

Here are some books I've been reading:

I finished this one back in May.

This book challenged the American dream, no doubt. It gave me great perspective on what it looks like to surrender my own comfort to The Lord and live for his glory. It will be a life long journey trying to figure out what that looks like, but I suggest this book to anyone stuck in a complacency or comfortable rut. Or if you aren't.

I read this one in June.

I'm sure a lot of you have seen the movie. I had, but I wanted to read the book just for fun. I actually really enjoyed it.

I'm in the middle of this one right now.

What a beautiful book (so far). It captures a great snapshot of God's love and faithfulness. Our summer at the Rock has been themed "The God Who Draws Near," and I think this book tells a beautiful story of just that. It's not scripture, but the metaphors presented within are just awesome.

Whether you're a believer or not, I think this book is worth your time.

I just started this one.

I figured as a future English teacher, this one is a good one to have read. I have a whole list of books that I want to read for that reason.

Here's what I have been listening to:

John Mark McMillan

Borderland

John Mark is always awesome, but I am loving this album. Future/Past is probably my favorite.

The Collection

Ars Moriendi

They came to Columbia last week and I am loving their stuff. Ars Moriendi is their latest album, but all of their music is awesome. Check them out.

I can't believe it's August already (sigh). Tyler and I will be attending THREE weddings this month, everyone will start coming back to Columbia, my parents will leave our home of almost 14 years, school will start, and The Rock will be back in full swing. I will also (hopefully) make progress in training for the half marathon I committed to running in November. Prayers for that are especially appreciated! Ha.


Love you guys,
Anna
annaswift.vsco.co

"Things happen."

I spent this last weekend at home. It was so necessary.

After a difficult, emotional week, I went home Friday afternoon to have a daddy-daughter date night with my wonderful Poppa. He bought me sushi and took me to see my grandparents, which I am unbelievably thankful for.

Saturday I spent some time with my other set of grandparents, had the chance to catch up with my girl Mo, and went house shopping with my parents. Yes, house shopping. My parents are currently looking for a smaller house in a neighboring town. It's really a bittersweet feeling. They will soon be moving out of the house that I spent eleven years of my life in. It is not easy to filter through all of my old stuff and think about the number of memories I will be leaving when we leave that home. However, I'm not as sad as you would think. I am excited for my family and have complete faith that the Lord has been orchestrating this entire process.

Sunday was hard. My sweet grandmother, at the age of 87 was involved in a really awful car wreck in the afternoon. On our way to her house to celebrate Father's Day with my dad's family, we got the call from Mercy Hospital. She had gone to Walmart to pick up ice cream to go with the cake she had baked for us. While sitting at the intersection waiting to cross the highway, a large truck pulling a 5th wheel camper plowed through two cars in the turn lane and straight into the driver's side of my grandma's car.

My heart is aching for her and my grandpa. It has been since the moment I saw her lying in the bed at the emergency room. After beating breast cancer in the 60's, surviving a heart attack a few years back, and finally beating lung cancer in this past year, she was involved in this terrible accident. With many injuries at the age of 87, it's going to be a long road to recovery. But goodness, she is one strong woman. She told me Monday that it had to be somebody in that wreck and it might as well have been her. "Things happen," she said.

So I'm here just asking for prayers. The Lord is clearly not finished with her on this earth. I pray for her recovery and that healing comes without any additional sickness or difficulty. I pray for my heartbroken grandpa, that he is taken care of while his primary care giver is unable to take care of herself. I pray for my family during this difficult time of heartache and transition.

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2

On a more positive note, I had some incredibly overdue time with my friend Jordan, today. I don't just mean overdue in the sense that she has been gone from Columbia for 5 weeks. I mean that we haven't spent a lot of time with each other in the last 12 months, really. Praise the Lord for a friendship that feels like it never skipped a day. The timing of her visit was impeccable. Love you, Jo.


Anna

And so summer begins.

Oh boy, it's officially summer, people. I have been done with school for nearly two weeks now, but I have been so busy, I don't think it really hit me until this week.

Since finals week, I have had my fair share of adventure. The night of my last final, Ty and I headed to KC for the weekend. We came back Sunday night, then turned around and headed south on Tuesday night. We spent Tuesday night at my parents house in the big AG and left for Austin, Texas the next morning. There, some great friends welcomed us in to their studio apartment for the next five nights. I wouldn't even know where to begin, so I will just say it was an awesome trip. Thanks, Travis and Lauren for showing us incredible hospitality and being such a great model of what a Godly marriage looks like. Your servant hearts are evident in the way you treat each other as well as those around you.

This week has been nice. I've begun getting "in the swing of things." Work, classes, exercise, the good stuff. I have also spent a little time with my new niece. SIDE NOTE: If you haven't seen her, you need to. If you don't live in Columbia, you should look at pictures. Miss Eliza Rose Swift is one beautiful baby. She is precious.

I am truly looking forward to the adventure, the lessons, and the wisdom that summer is going to bring. I know in my heart that The Lord has some awesome things in store for me, and that this is where He has called me this summer. However, while believing this to be true, I am simultaneously grieving the loss of a summer in Colorado. As I see pictures and posts of people arriving in EP, I can't help but feel a little sad that I won't be joining them. I would be lying if I told you otherwise. But, even in my jealousy, I want to wish all of you guys out at the Y the best summer possible. God has some sweet things planned for you in the next 12 weeks, or however long it is. And hey, I'll see y'all in July :).

As I may have mentioned before, many of my friends have committed to doing the Lord's work in different parts of the world this summer. In Ghana, Honduras, Kenya, DC, Colorado, etc, He has placed many of my close friends to share His word with people who may not otherwise know the name of Jesus Christ. I am beginning to recognize that part of my longing to be in Colorado is because I feel like I need to be doing something "greater." However, the Lord is constantly humbling me and assuring me that I am enough. I am learning to trust that He is using me here in Columbia, and while I may not be able to see that at this point, I am thankful for His faithfulness and truth. My life is not my own.

So this is where I am. I am excited about the summer, but I have to be honest in saying that it isn't always the easy choice. I guess following the Lord doesn't always feel like "the easy choice," though, does it? 

Regardless, it's always worth it.

"Jesus said, 'Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.'"
Mark 10:29-30

A.Swift 

Ambivalence

“I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You know what I mean? 

I am amazed at the amount of time has passed in the last year. By that, I just mean that I can't believe how fast the last 365 days have come and passed.

A year ago I was trying to prepare my heart for three months in what would become one of the most life changing places I would ever encounter. This present day, a large group of my very best friends are doing the same, and I wont be joining them.

A year ago I was beginning to pursue a more intentional relationship with one of my good friends, Tyler, who would become not just my boyfriend, but one of the best friends I have ever had.

A year ago my Community Group began praying for the freshmen who would come to Mizzou and become apart of the Lord's family, as well as Plaza's. Two of those individuals were baptized this Thursday.

(Plaza has since become two separate Community Groups.)

A year ago I wrote this blog post.

As I try to study for finals, it's hard not to think about all that has happened in the past year. While it can be sad to reminisce and think about all the time that has passed, I thank God that I can rejoice in what He has done this school year. I thank God that I can look back on those times with joy, but without dwelling. I thank God that He gives me peace about my past and allows me to live in the present without fear of the future.

With that being said, I'm doing my best to enjoy this last week with my present community. They are an amazing bunch! I am looking forward to my time with the ones who are sticking around this summer while trying to enjoy my last few days with those who will not. 

Enjoy the here and now. Happy Finals Week to those of you who have them!

Anna

Go play.

It's been... Forever.

I can't even tell you how much I have wanted to blog about my life these last few weeks. How much I have wanted to blog about my trip to Pittsburgh. No. That's a lie. I have been wanting to want to blog about Pitt. But that's just it, I didn't really want to.

The last couple of weeks I have just felt so restless. I've felt frustrated with the monotony of life. I've felt worn out. That has made me irritable, not super friendly, and really moody. I've received advice to journal, to get into the word and read scripture, to be in prayer about it. To be honest though, I haven't wanted to do any of those things except maybe be in prayer about it. But I felt like even that wasn't getting me very far.

Yesterday I was reminded by a really good friend of mine about the message that one of our pastors, Garrett brought to us on Sunday. And that, in summary, was this:

God cares about the small stuff. He is interested and involved in every detail of our life. I think I actually did take that message away from the sermon, but what I decided not to listen to was exactly what I needed to hear, the other part. That message was about how much the Lord delights in the time we spend with Him. And (THIS WAS THE BIG TAKEAWAY), that time with Him does not always have to mean spending an endless amount of time reading or studying scripture. While that is really super important and vital in a relationship with the Lord, sometimes that having good time with Him means turning off the radio to talk to Him. Sometimes it means just playing. Playing? What does that mean? The Lord delights in our playfulness. Sometimes he wants us to just go have fun. Having fun can be an act of worship, just as most things can be, and sometimes that can be just exactly what we need. This is what I needed to hear most.

It's easy to feel shameful when I haven't been reading scripture a lot. It's easy to feel that way when I haven't been journaling, or doing other things I normally do to spend time with Jesus. But this week, I think my heart just needs some fun, quiet time with the Lord. 

My challenge to you all this weekend is just to take some time from your busy schedule and play outside. Go to a park, go on a walk, go find a swing set somewhere and just swing. Do something that is restful for you, something that you find joy in doing. And maybe do it alone, I think you'll find it quite rewarding. I sure do.

Happy Friday guys. Thanks for being great friends and sticking with me through the mountains and the valleys. 

Anna

On a mission.

The sole purpose of this post is just to spread the word and ask for prayers for my brothers and sisters and I as we go on our respective Spring Break trips next week.

This is the first time I have mentioned it (I think), but I will be traveling to Pittsburgh, PA Saturday with a group from The Rock. A little over a year and a half ago, in the fall of 2012, The Rock did a church plant on the campus of the University of Pittsburgh. Next week, our group will be staying with and spending time with staff members. From what I understand, we will be attending the church service on Sunday, meeting students of their ministry, H20, and helping their staff reach out to students on Pitt's campus. The trip is evangelism focused and I am so stinking PUMPED.

In addition to the trip to Pittsburgh, members of The Rock will also be traveling to Honduras and Memphis, TN next week to do mission work. I'm not sure of the number going to Memphis, but OVER 30 PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HONDURAS. Whoa.

I am constantly amazed at the work that our ministry does. It is so inspiring to see so many young adults on fire for God and willing to spend their break from school serving and spreading the name of Jesus. 

As we prepare for our respective trips, I just want to ask for prayers. Prayers for safe travels, that we would be selfless and able to glorify God's name, and prayers that the Lord is preparing the hearts of the people we are about to encounter so that they may be open to what He wants to say. 

You guys are awesome.

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In other news, I am officially a Phase II, College of Education student at the University of Missouri-Columbia as of yesterday. Praise the Lord. Now I just need to find a job where I can get childcare experience. But childcare jobs generally require childcare experience. You see the problem here. 

Anyway, Happy Tuesday :)

Anna

"Abandoning Entitlement"

As I read a chapter of Jennie Allen's Anything on Monday, I felt extremely challenged in how I am living. But not only that. I felt my desires, my dreams, my aspirations being challenged as well. The chapter was called, "Normal Drug: Abandoning Entitlement." Honestly though, just about every chapter in this book so far has challenged or spoke to me in some way. I read it, then I spend hours with one of the best girls I know discussing God, the book, and our lives. This week though, I felt inspired to blog about what it spoke to my heart. So here it goes.

Luxuries.

I truly believe that there is nothing wrong with wanting nice things. I am a twenty year old girl. Of course I dream about getting married, having kiddos, my future career, decorating, clothes, the list goes on and on. But Jennie Allen asked me this week, "[Have] our hearts become demanding?" If God does not give us these things is he holding out on us? Then, even better: "Money and a good latte protect us from a lot of things." Kind of rough, right? Like, OKAY GOD, I GET IT. That's what I thought anyway. But hey, Jennie didn't leave me with just that. God certainly would not leave me with just that. (Point proven. See that entitlement?)

Entitlement.

This is an especially tricky topic, because the feeling of entitlement can be hard to surrender. First off, who wants to admit that they feel entitled? Uh, no one, that's who. "I deserve a nice life in a nice house with a nice family that looks good in Facebook pictures. I should also be able to buy all the scarves and shoes I see on Pinterest, and if not, you bet I'm going to wish I could," thinks my subconscious every time I see something I want, but I sure don't like admitting that. 

Secondly, surrendering is hard. It's a process, and sometimes it feels like things would just be a lot easier if we didn't deal with the tough stuff. What are we setting ourselves up for though, if we don't begin this process? Where are our lives headed if we don't surrender the false idols we are clinging onto so tightly?

"Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love." (Jonah 2:8)

This is what God has been showing me this week:

The Lord does not promise us a picture perfect family and a nice SUV in the driveway. He does, however, promise us salvation and life eternal through our acceptance of His son. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is life eternal in Jesus Christ our Lord," says Romans 6:23. That's pretty stinking amazing if you ask me. 

He desires to truly know us, for us have an intimate relationship with Him. He calls us to worship Him and Him only.

If we trust that Jesus is our savior, we don't need these other things. We can have things, but we don't NEED them.

The Lord knows as well as anyone that this is not an easy subject for me. I'm materialistic and I want more than I can have, always. But here's a step in this process of surrender. I yearn to be in closer relationship with the God of the universe, my Heavenly Father, and I believe it's going to take some prioritizing to get there.

Here's to the journey, folks!


-Anna

Two Decades.

This post's purpose is to thank everyone who took part in my birthday celebration. Here it goes.

First, to my awesome parents. You guys rock, and if it weren't for you, I would not be here. So thank you. Thank you for conceiving me and then putting so much time and effort into raising me. 

To my friends who surprised me just after midnight with awesome cake and the best mini party I could have ever been apart of. Katie, Morgan, Mandy, Julia, Tori, and especially Brooke, you guys are amazing.

To Tyler, for making sure I made it to my surprise party, even if that meant sacrificing himself and my feelings toward him to get me there. (Our curfew is 1, so I was a little upset that he was taking me home early... on my birthday.) And also for being an awesome gift giver. I have a lot to live up to.

To my ice skating buddies. I know you guys just wanted to go ice skating, but I felt honored to do it on my birthday, regardless :). Thank you guys for celebrating with me.

And to all the other various people, family and friends who wished me a happy birthday via facebook or in real life. It is truly appreciated.

I feel super blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. You all truly made it a birthday to remember. 

Have a good week lovelies!

Anna
annaswift.vsco.co

Snow Daze.

I am enjoying today.

I normally work at 7am on Tuesdays. We're closed, so I slept until 10.

I woke up to Brooke and Katie in our kitchen making breakfast. They served me. It was glorious.

I spent the rest of the morning drinking coffee on the couch with Morgan and Katie.

I bundled up and Katie, Brooke and I began our endeavor into the downtown district of big Columbia, MO. 

We got stuck driving on Stadium. Two cops pulled over and helped us get unstuck. That was nice.

We were hungry again, so we ate lunch.

We are currently sitting in Uprise Bakery spending our afternoon reading, journaling, [blogging], and doing homework. 

Today, I am thankful for seasons,
for time with friends,
for the reminder to enjoy every single day.

Today, I am thankful for rest.

How are you getting rest on your snow day?

Check out my snow day pictures, and really just my life here.

A NIECE!

This post isn't really about me. It kind of is, because I'm going to be an aunt and it's going to be one of the most exciting things that has ever happened in my life. But, that's not what I really want to talk about.

If you know my family at all, you have seen this plastered over every form of social media the last 48 hours. My brother and his wife are having a GIRL. A GIRL. Guys, I'm going to have a NIECE! 

I know they are excited. Chris and Aimee are going to be such good parents. Such good parents that as I stood there after the big surprise had been revealed, I leaned over to my mom and whispered, "Chris is going to be such a good dad to a little girl." She agreed with me. And if you know me very well, you know what happened next. I cried a little. Not nearly as much as I just cried when I read his blog, but I did tear up.

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Chris and I are eight years apart. He moved to a land far far away (Columbia) when I was 10 years old. Regardless, I have so many good memories fun times with him, even after he left for college. Chris once took me to see the movie, "Like Mike." Remember that movie? Okay, so what teenager wants to go with their eight year old sister to see a movie about Lil' Bow Wow finding a pair of tennis shoes?

Now, my parents may have paid him off to take me to that movie, I really don't know. But there are a lot more memories that lead me to think that wasn't the case. I always felt like I had a good relationship with Chris. Even when I didn't see him for an extended amount of time because he was at college, I always felt close to him. I called him "Dadoo," meaning "Dad # two" for a good portion in my life. I think finally changed his name in my phone to just "Chris" I think around the time I came to college. 

Anyways, I don't think until recently, maybe until I moved up to Columbia, I realized why I always felt like Chris was such a good brother. Chris is following the Lord. He has devoted his life to serving on a college campus in order to bring people to Christ. Probably one of the hardest jobs I could think of doing.

Without the Lord, sure, I think my brother would be a good, nice person. But he is rooted in Christ and that's what he is going to lead his family by. The Lord is who he looks for when he needs strength, who leads him, who he knows died for his sins, and will have grace for his mistakes. And that's why I think he is going to be such a good dad.

Congratulations, Chris and Aimee. You are both going to be great parents.

I'm so happy to have a niece.