Welp, here it goes.

What a great Christmas season. As much as ever I just feel really blessed to have a Savior like Jesus, you know? The Lord has done so much for my life I am just really grateful for that.

Well, about a year ago I did a little recap (here) of 2012 and how much I had experienced and learned throughout the year. So, here's to tradition!

2013 in a nutshell:
Brought in the new year with a group of Springfield friends.
Had an awesome train trip to Chicago with some of my favorites.
Said a sad goodbye to Great Granny Ruth.
Threw a rockin' throwback birthday party with my brother.
Had lots of snow days and snow ball fights at The Cotton House.
Came to terms with singleness and learning more about what it means to live for The Lord.
Decided to dye my hair really dark.
Spent spring break at home.
Cut all my hair off. (I went through a lot of weird hair transformations this year, ha)
Was baptized.
Had one conversation with Tyler at Lakota.
Soon followed by a DTR. ("Wait, what? I thought you just came to terms with your singleness." "Yeah, God has weird good timing.")
Moved to Colorado for three months.
Made some of the best friends I could ever imagine.
Came back for school, did outreach, and started a new job.
Started dating Tyler.
Went through a busy, crazy, stressful semester I think without blinking.
Made some new friends, became distant from others.
Some concerts in there... NEEDTOBREATHE and Iron & Wine.
Thanksgiving.
And... Christmas.
Tomorrow I drive to KC to leave for Indianapolis for IGNITE the next morning.

I can't put in a list quite everything that has happened this past year. It's especially hard to describe the spiritual and emotional growth I have experienced in 2013. Things have been fun, things have been challenging, things have often felt impossible. But they weren't, and here I am reflecting on the year. I'm so thankful for the work that The Lord is constantly doing in my life, no matter the trials it takes. He desires me to seek after Him and love Him, and I can only hope to do even more of that next year. Thanks to everyone who has made this year yet another truly special, awesome year of growth.


...Imagine what you or I could be reflecting on a year from now. WHO KNOWS.
Things will be different. But that's okay. Maybe it's good.

Speaking of which, here's one last picture of Plaza Community Group. I am so thankful for the work God has done in this group this year. From the loss of some awesome seniors in May, to the gain of some amazing young adults this fall, The Lord has totally been present and doing some major work. I am excited to see what He has in store for our two groups in 2014 as we multiply and work toward reaching more of Mizzou's campus to share the love of Christ.

I like to think of this life as an adventure. An adventure to which December 31st doesn't bring an end. An adventure to which January 1st does not promise change, and it does not promise successful resolutions. However... I do believe that January 1st DOES promise the opportunity for growth. It promises a chance for reflection. And it promises the opportunity for adventure.

But doesn't April 26th, July 5th, or October 14th? Make those decisions every day. Live every day. That's something I have been struggling a lot with lately. I'll stop rambling.

Happy New Years to you all! I hope your year has been one filled with joy. Love you guys.

Anna

UPDATE.

I updated my blog. In case you didn't notice. It's kind of plain, but I kind of like it right now. That's all. 

Merry Christmas y'all. <--- that was for all of my Texas friends that I am SO excited to see at Ignite in a week and a half. Also, I've never said y'all publicly before, and it may not happen again so take note.

Restoration.

Today... Today I just want to brag on one of my favorite girls in this whole wide world. This girl has been on my heart so much lately, and I just want to share a little bit about my life, her life, and our friendship.

Mel.

Oh, Mel. This girl and I have been friends for a LONG time. I can hardly remember life before first grade when we met. Or even sixth grade, when she moved into a house right up the street from mine. When we would get on the same walkie talkie channel every Wednesday night at 9 o' clock just because we could and we thought it was cool. Who knows what we talked about those nights on our walkie talkies. Basketball, school, I don't really know.

Mel and I continued to be friends for the rest of our school years. We weren't always close, we were often bitter, and we were frequently jealous. There were times when Mel and I probably didn't like each other very much. But that's what is so cool about this story.

After leaving Ash Grove and coming to Mizzou, I found God. He was always there, but I couldn't see Him. I had been looking for happiness in all the wrong places and never felt fulfilled by anything. I had been searching harder to find proof of His inexistence than I was for His existence.

One pretty awesome thing about that, is that while I have been here in Columbia and while I was in Colorado growing in my faith and really learning about God, Mel also accepted Christ and was baptized.

Over Thanksgiving break, I saw Mel for the first time since all of that happened in her life. I had the opportunity to talk to her and spend time with her (and the rest of my Ash Grove girls). We, meaning Mel, Morgan, and Brodie for good portion of it, talked for hours until it was WAY TOO LATE. We sat there and talked about things I never imagined talking with her about. And in that moment, I felt so vividly the restoration and healing that God was bringing to our friendship. Ahh, I can't even explain it. I see so much change in her it's unreal. Between the two of us, it was like a new friendship forming, and it made me so excited.

We both decided that probably for the first time, we were actually excited to be friends. I am excited to spend time with her and to keep growing with her. The best part is, she is only one of my friends who has recently decided to start following Christ. I am so stinking pumped to see all of the work the Lord has been and is doing at home.

I am thankful for my time spent with these girls and the ones not pictured this past week.

So for now, that is all.

Love,
Anna.

Unbelievably thankful.

I have to tell you guys something. A conversation between Brooke and I the other day went something like this:

Brooke: Did you know that it is peanut butter lovers month?

Me: It's my month!

Brooke: I know!! It's perfect especially because you love November

Guys, I LOVE NOVEMBER.

[Here's more proof]

What a great month. But I must admit that I am a little disappointed in myself. I really don't think I have been loving it as much as I should have been. This semester has been pretty emotionally draining. My hardest yet, that's no question. And as hard as I have been trying to find joy in the midst of it all [see my last post], it has been... Difficult. 

But here's the thing. Garrett gave a sermon Sunday that was AMAZING. As I sat there in Middlebush Auditorium listening to him, I could hear God speaking to me. He focused on 2 Corinthians 4, which is just phenomenal. Specifically, 2 Corinthians 4: 13-18 says this:

13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

If you have time, you should listen to his sermon. Here is the link.

Goodness guys. I have so much to be thankful for. I am the daughter of a loving Father who does not allow me to be put through trials for no reason. He has a purpose everything He does, and He does it for my benefit. So this semester has been hard, but I have so much to be thankful for. So much to thank my God for. 

So today, I want to give thanks for a few things:

• Patient roommates who show me grace every day of my life.
• Friends and family who love me, and constantly show me that.
• A job that I enjoy.
• The opportunity to receive an education in a place that I love. (I OFTEN don't appreciate that like I should)
• A few amazing women who choose to listen to me and speak so much truth into my life.
• The opportunity to try (and sometimes fail) to do that for others.
• A home to return to for Thanksgiving.
• The reminder that my sight is to be set on what is unseen, what is eternal.

I only have one class, one shift, Catching Fire, packing, a night's sleep, and a drive home standing in my way of being in Ash Grove. I haven't spent more than three nights at home since May, so I am happy to say that I will be in town for an entire week. 

Happy early Thanksgiving, guys.

Love, 

Anna

Be joyful always.

This semester, and I'm sure many of you can relate, has been stinking hard. There have been smiles, there have been tears (a lot of them, actually) and a whole lot of rushing around like a madman trying to get everything done. I have felt happy, stressed, sad, anxious, hopeful (gets out making peace emotions chart), insecure, stagnant, lonely, uptight... The list goes on. Basically, the last couple of months have been an emotional roller coaster in the midst of a very demanding school, work and ministry schedule.

As many emotions as I have experienced this semester, there has been a pretty vital one that I feel like I haven't truly experienced. That emotion is joy. I have completely neglected the opportunity to feel joyful. About anything! I have had positive emotions, sure. But mostly I have been consumed in my own selfishness and joy has been something I can honestly say I haven't been experiencing.

So, Sunday I was thinking about something Aimee said last year at one of our canvas group meetings. She said (this is paraphrased) that for her, joy is something she has to wake up every morning and choose to feel. I have no idea what made me think of this, but the Lord knew I needed to. God calls us to be joyful! He calls us to be free.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Side note: Galatians 5 is also awesome, you should read it. 

Yesterday, I woke up at 6:30am and went running with The Pace Makers & Heartbreakers, previously known as "The Rock Running Club." I don't like running. Like, I REALLY don't like running. But I went, and I found myself actually having a good time throughout it, all because of my mindset. I made the decision that I was going to choose joy.

It's not always that easy. I will probably forget by next week, honestly. With that being said, my intentions of this post are not to be prideful in the least. Life can be hard, but this week I have challenged myself, and I really want to challenge all of you. Choose joy.

Choose carrots, too. They're good for you.

If you want to read more on this topic, Aimee has wrote some posts on it as well, and she is awesome. You should take a look.


P.S. Heres some good music. Brand new, folks!
1. Austin Stone Worship
2. Avett Brothers (who I'm officially seeing on February 14, 2014, thanks to one stinking awesome boyfriend)

Well this is just cute.

Some of you have probably seen this, but if you haven't, you need to. So awesome.

The kid in the video has a website, which his brother-in-law wrote the "Who We Are!" section on his website. Heres a little tidbit of what he wrote, just to give you an idea of just how awesome this kid is:

Robby, age 9, is my little brother-in-law. He's full of life and ideas. Robby has Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) a brittle bone condition which has resulted in him having over 70 breaks since birth. What's inspiring about Robby isn't his condition, but the fact that his condition doesn't define who he is. In spite of all he's been through he not only keeps going - he dances.

Now, if that doesn't make you smile, you should probably go to a doctor and have them check for a heart.

Happy Tuesday :)

Back in Action.

It has been so long, and so much has happened. There are a million things I could talk about, but I'm going to choose one good thing. Then, at the end, I will probably add one more thing. You're confused by everything I just said, so just keep scrolling.

I don't want this to sound all "feel bad for me" and angsty, but life has been busy lately. I like busy-ness, but the last thing I want is to feel like I'm not taking time to truly enjoy the things that are happening around me. Lately, it has felt like that.

I have had a lot of conversations with friends centered around this idea: Why are we even going to school? And really, why are we getting these college degrees that we may or may not even use? That's a tough one for me to wrap my mind around.

Every Tuesday, I take time out of my busy schedule and I get the honor of visiting... Wait for it... The one and only, West Middle School. I'm just kidding about "the one and only" part... What a generic name right? Whatever, it makes sense if you look at a map.

Anyway, every Tuesday I get to go help in a 6th grade social studies classroom filled with lots of little 11 and 12 year olds. Then I remember. THIS, my friends, is why I am shortening the length of my life and turning my hair gray. I am doing these things to get my degree so I can spend more than just an afternoon every Tuesday with some hormonal pre-teens. Ten years from now I will probably be complaining that these students are the ones turning my hair gray... Funny how that works right?

So that's my good thing. That's just one thing I wanted to share that has been really awesome in the last month and a half. Speaking of the last month and a half, my social media fast in September was awesome. I won't get into it too much, but it was really good to take that break.

ONE MORE GOOD THING. Kind of.

We had the fall retreat last weekend. What a good time to get away and spend with God and my awesome community. I was sick, which is why it was only kind of awesome. I came home with a fever and I'm still recovering, but regardless, it was awesome. Plus, Tyler brought me soup and put up with all of my coughing and sneezing. What a good guy right? To show off how good of a weekend it was, here are some pictures. Credit to Casey Batezel, Margaret Bedwell, and Sarah Bell. I'm not really sure who took which pictures.

Not Goodbye, Just See Ya Later.

The past week and a half has probably been the busiest, craziest, but one of the most exciting times of my life. It has been filled with classes, work, events with The Rock, and time with all of these cuties... And MORE.

I have been extremely busy. In a good way, but still busy. Which leads me to what I really want to talk about.

So, during my time at LT, I felt like I was learning a lot about time management. I was working a lot and had to try and balance everything that was constantly going on at the Y, all while making sure that God is #1 in my life. I'm so thankful for this time because it has already been helping me a lot this semester. HOWEVER, there is still never enough time in the day to do everything I want to do, which is why I have decided to do a social media fast for the month of September.

But why?
I have realized how much of my time it consumes... Really. We don't have WiFi at our house, so it's not as much of a problem there, but I still have it on my phone everywhere I go. I want to commit a good portion of time to this so that it hopefully has some sort of lasting effect, so September it is!

What is this going to look like?
Saturday night I will be deactivating my Facebook and Twitter. I will also be deleting the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Blogger apps from my iPhone. Because of class and work I clearly can't give up my email, but basically everything else has to go! I will be back in a month!

How can you get ahold of me?
I'm really not trying to block people out of my life, I promise. Haha. I will still be available to call or text at any time of the day! I like mail too :)

..........................................................................................................

Anyways, I'm excited for this. I think it will be a challenge, but I really do believe that it will be worth it. I'm excited to be away from all of those distractions and fully be able to focus on more important things. This will be my last blog post for a while! It's been real, folks.




Anna

Until We Meet Again, Colorado.

This past week has been one of the most bittersweet of my entire life.

Here's why:

It has been such a challenging summer. There have been many evenings that all I wanted to do was drive back to Columbia, back to Ash Grove, back to Missouri. Something about "home" just sounded comforting. Easy, really.

At the end of it all though, I wouldn't change a single thing. I have been pushed in ways I never would have been without this experience. I have been challenged. I have been tested. Most of all, I have met God this summer. I knew Him before, but all of this time has made it especially special. So with all of this mind, I have to just reiterate myself: I wouldn't change a single thing. I wouldn't change a thing because I know that He has been working. I know that He has been, and still is, shaping me into a stronger, more faithful woman.

I have been incredibly sad to leave some of the friends I have made this summer. My project group, my coworkers, other fellow LTers... God truly blessed me with a pretty awesome community in Estes Park. I never would have imagined myself feeling this way about people I have knew for such a short time, but I will really miss all of them. I am pretty sad about it, but I am comforted because I know that I will have some great memories to hold onto until we meet again.

So it's bittersweet because it's sad, but goodness, I have so much to look forward to. There are so many great things planned for this fall semester. I just know it. I am excited to start my new job. I am excited to be back  and fully invested in the church that I really found God in. I am excited for fall outreach. I am excited for my classes. I am really excited to see how God moves through our church, through our community group, and through my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ this fall. I'm just excited, alright? Haha. I know that being back in Columbia wont mean that I'm free of challenges. I think that's okay. I hope after this summer, that it will be easier to remember that we aren't put through trials for nothing. He can use anything for good.

Being back in Columbia is so many things. It's comforting, it's familiar, it's warm, it's good. So far, it's everything I wanted it to be, but nothing will ever be quite the same as the summer that changed my life in Estes Park, Colorado.

And until we meet again, Colorado, I'll hold onto these:

Thoughts.

Today is the three year anniversary since we lost Miss Shelby Lea Estep. Man, there are so many things I miss about that girl. I miss her sweet spirit. I miss the way she would say, "Peeaaaanutttt!" every time she would see me. I miss her love for cowboys. I miss her love for everyone, and especially her love for The Lord.

It has been three years since Shelby left us to be with her Savior, but I've never stopped thinking about her. Constantly, I am asked, "What does your bracelet say?" Over time I have came from saying, "It's for my friend Shelby who passed away," to saying, "It's for my friend Shelby. She passed away, but she's with her Lord in Heaven now." It doesn't make me miss her any less, but it sure does give me a sense of hope and a sense of peace to remind myself that she is somewhere far better than here.

Today, Shelby's dad posted on facebook:

"Its been three years and I'm just now coming to grips with the fact that your not coming home. The pain gets easier to handle but the hole in my heart never goes away. See you again soon girl in the big big house that He has prepared."

I have no idea what it is like to lose a child, but I really like the way Coach Estep put it. I am starting to understand that God has taken Shelby to sit with Him up in Heaven and watch over all of us. While I'm sure that is true, there was something about Shelby Lea Estep that could never be replaced. Because of that, even I am left here on Earth with hole in my heart because death is something that I can't exactly understand as a mere human being.

My prayers today are with the Esteps and all of our Eclipse family. I sure do love you guys.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My family left yesterday after a week long visit. I had the best time with them. I hated that I had to work most of the week, but we still got to spend a lot of good time together. Thursday we went rafting. Here are some pics!

It was sad to see them go, but I will officially be back in Missouri in three short weeks. Goodness, how this summer has flown. I am anxious to be back at my school, with my friends, and close to my family, but Colorado has been such a good experience for me. But I'll save that for the next post. I'm going to finish the summer out strong and I'll be back on here soon writing all about it!

Love you guys.

Anna

My Chains Are Gone.

My chains are gone

I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

Love you guys.

Anna

Maybe a Little Overdue.

So, if you follow my blog regularly, you're like, "Man Anna, you've been slacking." That or you are now thinking, "Ha, yeah Anna that's a little narcissistic of you. I didn't even notice." Either way, well, that's okay because you're reading now, aren't you? :)

Well, if you are a regular follower, you know that I tend to post when exciting things happen in my life. I tend not to post when I am having a hard time or dealing with anything even halfway difficult. No one wants to read about that, and quite frankly, I don't want to write about it.

So the last couple of weeks have been rough. I have been homesick and really missing Missouri summers. Every summer up until now has been roughly the same for me. They have consisted of the lake, swimming, softball, family, friends, etc. BUT, don't feel bad. These last couple of days have been so reassuring. Why? Well, because God is good, that's why.

Last week my mom got a random ride to Colorado with two of my former high school teachers, also my mom's co-workers, also my brother's friends. Kind of funny how that all works. The Houps so graciously gave my mom a ride to Colorado Springs where I picked her up and brought her back to Estes with me. She stayed until Monday evening when she flew home to Missouri. I felt a little bad because I work 8 hours a day, which meant she had to find things to do from 10:00-6:30 all four days besides Monday when I was off work. We spent a lot of good, quality time together in the evenings though, and that was pretty great. I just want to give a big thanks to the Houps for driving her out here, my momma for coming on such short notice, and my daddy for being so supportive of my mom's adventurous decisions.

So between that visit from my mom, my LT workshop that started Sunday, and Project Group yesterday, I have had an attitude change. I am feeling much better about my summer here. I have been reminded that God really does provide. Learning to surrender to Him and trust Him with my whole life is a challenge. There's no doubt about that. I feel though, like I am learning more and more on how to do that every day that I am out here. No one ever promised me that it would be easy here. But it will be rewarding, and (I think) worth every second.

Love you guys.

Anna

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:33-34

My Best Friend.

I have a lot of good relationships with a lot of people. I have a lot of people in my life who I consider to be really good friends of mine. I don't say this to boast, because it definitely has not always been that way. I have struggled a lot with friendships in the past, but God has recently been teaching me a lot about healthy friendships and relationships with people. These lessons have honestly changed my life.

A good example of one of the amazing people in my life is Miss Tori Vaughan. I have no doubt that God has placed Tori in my life to encourage me, to talk with me about hard things, and to constantly remind me of and point me to my Savior in any obstacle I face.

Last night I called Tori in tears to talk about some hard things I have been dealing with. I have a lot of friends that I could have called at that moment. I think all of them would have done a good job of listening to me blabber on about the things I have been experiencing and what I feel like God has been telling me this last week. But I really felt like the Lord was telling me to call Tori, and after the conversation ended, I knew for sure that He had been. 

We talked for an hour and a half about our recent conversations with God and what he has been doing in both of our lives. I told her that God had talked to me that day. I heard Him more clearly than ever before and it was the coolest experience of my life. I am surprised she heard anything I was saying; I was crying throughout the entire conversation. She did hear me though, and she spent the remainder of our conversation pointing me to God. I felt so blessed in that moment, and still now, that I have someone like that, people like that, who I am walking through life with in God centered friendships.

Later last night before going to sleep, I got online to look for audio sermons that I could listen to in my free time. I was on the Austin Stone website and clicked on the first one I saw. It was the most recent sermon, titled, "Exposing Our Hearts." The pastor of this particular sermon started talking about our relationships with our best friends who know us extremely well; the friends that force us to get past our surface level problems and talk about what is really going on in our lives and the problems of our heart. I thought of my phone conversation with Tori.

Then he talked about our relationship with Jesus. No matter how good my relationships are with my best friends that I feel like I can go to about anything, they can never amount to my relationship with Jesus. Jesus knows the things about me before I tell Him. He knows the things that I am ashamed of, he knows the things that I don't even talk about with my closest friends. He uses this knowledge to expose my heart, and to help me work through the hard things. He does this not to shame me, but to save me. He does this because my relationship with God is the most important thing in my life and should always remain my number one priority.

I don't think I stumbled upon this sermon by accident.

God put Tori in my life for a reason. He put all of my friends in my life for a reason. But how humbling to think that no matter how much these friends of mine know about me, no matter how good of friends they are to me, Jesus will always be my best friend. He knows more, and he loves me more that anyone ever could. 

It's going to be a good summer. A challenging, but good summer.

Love you guys.

Anna

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:12-15

Sitting 7,522 feet up.

I've been slacking. Not in everything, but as far as my blog goes, I have been slacking.

We'll start with this:

One week ago I arrived in Colorado. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed honestly. I knew that this was where God wanted me for the summer, but something inside of me was not all that happy to be here. I hate goodbyes. I really don't like the feeling of closing a chapter, especially when I don't feel like I am done writing. That's how I felt. I felt frustrated and sad because I didn't think I was ready for something new yet. I just left everything I have ever known like 9 months ago to start over. So I prayed.

I prayed that my bitter heart would have some sort of transformation and that I would find some sort of purpose here in Estes Park. I should never doubt God's plan. Of course He was right. Throughout the next few days I started finding excitement in all kinds of things. I went on my first hike, I started job training, I started meeting some really cool people from Ohio, Illinois, Texas (I've never heard so many people say "y'all" in my life), Georgia, etc., LT started, and so on.

So thankful for this girl.

My project group for the summer.

I do miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss Missouri honestly. But God has great plans for me and LT this summer. Colorado is awesome, my job is really awesome. I mean, I'm working in the biggest Craft & Design Center most people have ever seen. That's pretty cool if you ask me. Through my bitterness, I think I am already learning what it means to rely on God, even when I feel kind of alone. I need that.

I am so blessed to be able to wake up and walk outside to see mountains everywhere I look, every day. I think a person can find God anywhere if they want to. He is everywhere. But, I have no doubt that God is with me here in Estes right now. And I have no doubt that He is with you, too.

For those of you who aren't in Colorado with me this summer, I want to let you know when/how to contact me. Because I really do miss you. Mondays and Tuesdays are my days off work. Tuesdays are my project days though, so Mondays are the best time for me to talk to people. Also, any other day after about 7 (8pm Central Time) is a good time too as long as I know ahead of time. I enjoy telephone calls, skype, mail, etc. Speaking of mail... My mailing address is:

Anna Swift
P.O. Box 20700
Estes Park, CO 80511

And if you're feeling extra generous, my shipping address (like for packages and stuff) is:

Anna Swift
2515 Tunnel Road
Estes Park, CO 80511

(Hint, hint)

What's your address?

One more thing I want to share:

I read something in Blue Like Jazz the other day that really stuck with me. If you haven't read this book, you should! I have started it three times now and am determined to finish it, because it really is awesome. I'm just terrible at finishing books. Anyways, the author, Donald Miller, was talking about a conversation he had with a girl who said to him:

"As a human, I am flawed in that it is difficult for me to consider others before myself. It feels like I have to fight against this force, this current within me that more often than not, wants to avoid serious issues and please myself, feed myself, entertain myself, and all of that. All I'm saying is that if we, as a species, could fix our self-absorption, we could end a lot of pain in the world."

I needed to hear this. I struggle with self-absorption. I think a lot of us do. As I am learning to be a leader in the church though, or even just as I mature in general, I think it is so important that I really take a look at where I am investing so much of my time. Right now you're thinking, "Okay Anna, you're the one who just wrote an entire blog post about all of YOUR problems." And you're right, I did. Which is another point I am starting to understand. I believe you do have to invest some time in yourself. If you are not right with yourself, right with God, then I think you are incapable of effectively investing in other people. But I think Laura, (Donald Miller's friend) was right. How many problems in the world could be fixed if we would just make a conscious effort to do more things for other people? All I ask is that you think about it. Think about it here if you want. And again, think about reading this book!


Love you guys, talk to you soon.

Anna

Hello, Goodbye

I had to say entirely too many goodbyes yesterday and the day before. 

I had to say goodbye to the people I have lived my life with for the last 9 months. These people have made such an impact on my life it can't even be explained. These people who have become my best friends in such a short amount of time in comparison to the rest of my life. The seniors who won't be back next year. I am really going to miss all of you who made my first year of college so special.

Just another group photo ;)
(Just kidding Tor)

Plaza Plaz!

My best girls.

I had to say goodbye to campus, my dorm room, my roommate. This was weird. My whole life I have looked forward to college so I could move out of the house and live in a shoebox with some girl I didn't really know. Now that is over and I will be moving into an actual living space next year with this girl who has became more than just a roommate. She's a best friend. I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Moving on out!

Brookiepoo!

I had to say hello and goodbye to the people that I spent nearly 18 years of my life with. Seeing these friends is always such a blessing. It's so cool to see how people are evolving into the adults they are going to be for the rest of their lives rather than the high schoolers we were just a year ago. To see everyone getting along, everyone so happy, it makes me happy.

Typical. Love these girls.

Wish Meghan and Kayla could have been there!

This guy has been there for me through thick and thin. So proud of him!

Sunday I will be saying goodbye to my parents and family.

I miss my parents pretty often. I love seeing them so happy to have me home, even if it isn't for long. They are pretty great.

Best Momma I could ever ask for.

I don't have a picture of my dad and me from this week. Today is his birthday though! Happy birthday to one amazing dad!

Next week I will be saying hello to all of my new friends I have yet to meet.
I have a feeling that God has some pretty awesome plans in store for me.

To Be Continued...

New Life.

Be prepared for a story, my testimony. It's not meant to be a sob story, but proof of how good God is. If you don't want to read it, just scroll ahead :)

As most of you know, this year has been one of tremendous spiritual growth for me. When I came to Mizzou I was pretty confused about the whole "God thing". While I was raised in a home where I was expected to go to church (most) Sundays, I don't know that I truly ever understood what it meant to be a Christian or have a relationship with God until more recently.

I found myself really falling out of Christianity as a high schooler. I spent most of this time finding my value in academics, sports, my friends, my boyfriend, etc, etc. I never really thought about God much, but really just put Him on the back burner while I living a lifestyle which never proved to be completely fulfilling.

It wasn't until my Junior year that God became a prominent thought in my mind. That summer I lost a really good friend of mine, Shelby Estep, in a car accident. She was one of the best Christian influences in my life, and I found myself really angry at God after she passed away. I spent a lot of time extremely frustrated, confused, and really just questioning God and his goodness. This frustration continued into my senior year. After fall sports were over I was left with a lot of free time. With those being over also, I found myself feeling sort of lost, because I had found so much of my identity in them and the friends that I played them with.

October of that year is when things really started getting rough for me. I developed extremely low blood pressure which was causing me to pass out a lot and have migraines at least 3 days a week. That winter, I spent a month wearing a heart monitor. It felt like I was constantly at the hospital or the doctor's office for blood tests, cat scans, MRI's, etc. During that time I started feeling extremely lonely. Besides my awesome parents, I felt like I had no one that I could rely on anymore. I started isolating myself from my friends, and really became pretty bitter toward them. I started becoming even more reliant on my boyfriend. I was spending entirely too much time focused on our unhealthy relationship which was past the point of repair. I was anxious, sad, and felt pretty worthless. My relationship with God was still pretty non-existent (on my side of things I mean). I questioned His existence a lot. And if He did exist, why would He care about me?

Things finally started looking up that spring. After my decision to come to Mizzou, things finally ended with that boyfriend (for good). My medicines were finally straightened out and after months of testing, I got a diagnosis. I made an attempt to repair my friendships the best I could, because I knew I didn't have much time left with them. It was probably around that time that I realized that I something had been missing my life. The things I had previously relied on hadn't proved to be fulfilling or trustworthy and I had to find something else to satisfy myself.

I spent my summer preparing for college. I was finally about to get the break and the change that I had been looking toward. I look back now and can tell that God was using this time to begin healing and softening my heart as I longed for something greater. When I arrived at Mizzou, I was instantly plugged in with my brother's church friends. I had been reluctant, but they were so welcoming, so nice, and made me feel like I was finally making a right decision. I finally felt at home, which wasn't a feeling I was really used to anymore. I was nervous to get too involved right away, but it soon started to become extremely evident to me that God was, and had been working in my life all along.

As I started learning more about Him, I began pursuing a personal relationship with Him and surely began to love Him again. It hasn't all been easy. I still have a lot of questions. I won't ever know all there is to know. Since beginning to love Him again, I have still been hurt by people, and by myself. I have still struggled with events from my past. But, it is in those struggles that I am reminded of God's grace. He is a loving, jealous, forgiving God. And I am His.

Last night I decided that it was the appropriate time to publicly profess my love for Him. I had been baptized when I was 6, but what 6 year old really knows much of anything? I am so blessed to be constantly surrounded by friends who encourage me and help me grow. I am so blessed to have a supportive family who has never left my side. I am so blessed to have a brother who baptized me in the name of the father, son, and the holy spirit. I am so blessed to have Jesus in my life.

Eyes closed, but you get it.

I was blessed to be baptized with 12 brothers and sisters of mine.
Here are just five of them who have had a tremendous impact on my life this past year.

My main girl, Morgan. 

Just a portion of our amazing community. Photo Cred: Casey Batezel

And the most awkward baptism award goes to... Chris and Anna! Well, it's only fitting.