Sitting 7,522 feet up.

I've been slacking. Not in everything, but as far as my blog goes, I have been slacking.

We'll start with this:

One week ago I arrived in Colorado. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed honestly. I knew that this was where God wanted me for the summer, but something inside of me was not all that happy to be here. I hate goodbyes. I really don't like the feeling of closing a chapter, especially when I don't feel like I am done writing. That's how I felt. I felt frustrated and sad because I didn't think I was ready for something new yet. I just left everything I have ever known like 9 months ago to start over. So I prayed.

I prayed that my bitter heart would have some sort of transformation and that I would find some sort of purpose here in Estes Park. I should never doubt God's plan. Of course He was right. Throughout the next few days I started finding excitement in all kinds of things. I went on my first hike, I started job training, I started meeting some really cool people from Ohio, Illinois, Texas (I've never heard so many people say "y'all" in my life), Georgia, etc., LT started, and so on.

So thankful for this girl.

My project group for the summer.

I do miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss Missouri honestly. But God has great plans for me and LT this summer. Colorado is awesome, my job is really awesome. I mean, I'm working in the biggest Craft & Design Center most people have ever seen. That's pretty cool if you ask me. Through my bitterness, I think I am already learning what it means to rely on God, even when I feel kind of alone. I need that.

I am so blessed to be able to wake up and walk outside to see mountains everywhere I look, every day. I think a person can find God anywhere if they want to. He is everywhere. But, I have no doubt that God is with me here in Estes right now. And I have no doubt that He is with you, too.

For those of you who aren't in Colorado with me this summer, I want to let you know when/how to contact me. Because I really do miss you. Mondays and Tuesdays are my days off work. Tuesdays are my project days though, so Mondays are the best time for me to talk to people. Also, any other day after about 7 (8pm Central Time) is a good time too as long as I know ahead of time. I enjoy telephone calls, skype, mail, etc. Speaking of mail... My mailing address is:

Anna Swift
P.O. Box 20700
Estes Park, CO 80511

And if you're feeling extra generous, my shipping address (like for packages and stuff) is:

Anna Swift
2515 Tunnel Road
Estes Park, CO 80511

(Hint, hint)

What's your address?

One more thing I want to share:

I read something in Blue Like Jazz the other day that really stuck with me. If you haven't read this book, you should! I have started it three times now and am determined to finish it, because it really is awesome. I'm just terrible at finishing books. Anyways, the author, Donald Miller, was talking about a conversation he had with a girl who said to him:

"As a human, I am flawed in that it is difficult for me to consider others before myself. It feels like I have to fight against this force, this current within me that more often than not, wants to avoid serious issues and please myself, feed myself, entertain myself, and all of that. All I'm saying is that if we, as a species, could fix our self-absorption, we could end a lot of pain in the world."

I needed to hear this. I struggle with self-absorption. I think a lot of us do. As I am learning to be a leader in the church though, or even just as I mature in general, I think it is so important that I really take a look at where I am investing so much of my time. Right now you're thinking, "Okay Anna, you're the one who just wrote an entire blog post about all of YOUR problems." And you're right, I did. Which is another point I am starting to understand. I believe you do have to invest some time in yourself. If you are not right with yourself, right with God, then I think you are incapable of effectively investing in other people. But I think Laura, (Donald Miller's friend) was right. How many problems in the world could be fixed if we would just make a conscious effort to do more things for other people? All I ask is that you think about it. Think about it here if you want. And again, think about reading this book!


Love you guys, talk to you soon.

Anna

Hello, Goodbye

I had to say entirely too many goodbyes yesterday and the day before. 

I had to say goodbye to the people I have lived my life with for the last 9 months. These people have made such an impact on my life it can't even be explained. These people who have become my best friends in such a short amount of time in comparison to the rest of my life. The seniors who won't be back next year. I am really going to miss all of you who made my first year of college so special.

Just another group photo ;)
(Just kidding Tor)

Plaza Plaz!

My best girls.

I had to say goodbye to campus, my dorm room, my roommate. This was weird. My whole life I have looked forward to college so I could move out of the house and live in a shoebox with some girl I didn't really know. Now that is over and I will be moving into an actual living space next year with this girl who has became more than just a roommate. She's a best friend. I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Moving on out!

Brookiepoo!

I had to say hello and goodbye to the people that I spent nearly 18 years of my life with. Seeing these friends is always such a blessing. It's so cool to see how people are evolving into the adults they are going to be for the rest of their lives rather than the high schoolers we were just a year ago. To see everyone getting along, everyone so happy, it makes me happy.

Typical. Love these girls.

Wish Meghan and Kayla could have been there!

This guy has been there for me through thick and thin. So proud of him!

Sunday I will be saying goodbye to my parents and family.

I miss my parents pretty often. I love seeing them so happy to have me home, even if it isn't for long. They are pretty great.

Best Momma I could ever ask for.

I don't have a picture of my dad and me from this week. Today is his birthday though! Happy birthday to one amazing dad!

Next week I will be saying hello to all of my new friends I have yet to meet.
I have a feeling that God has some pretty awesome plans in store for me.

To Be Continued...

New Life.

Be prepared for a story, my testimony. It's not meant to be a sob story, but proof of how good God is. If you don't want to read it, just scroll ahead :)

As most of you know, this year has been one of tremendous spiritual growth for me. When I came to Mizzou I was pretty confused about the whole "God thing". While I was raised in a home where I was expected to go to church (most) Sundays, I don't know that I truly ever understood what it meant to be a Christian or have a relationship with God until more recently.

I found myself really falling out of Christianity as a high schooler. I spent most of this time finding my value in academics, sports, my friends, my boyfriend, etc, etc. I never really thought about God much, but really just put Him on the back burner while I living a lifestyle which never proved to be completely fulfilling.

It wasn't until my Junior year that God became a prominent thought in my mind. That summer I lost a really good friend of mine, Shelby Estep, in a car accident. She was one of the best Christian influences in my life, and I found myself really angry at God after she passed away. I spent a lot of time extremely frustrated, confused, and really just questioning God and his goodness. This frustration continued into my senior year. After fall sports were over I was left with a lot of free time. With those being over also, I found myself feeling sort of lost, because I had found so much of my identity in them and the friends that I played them with.

October of that year is when things really started getting rough for me. I developed extremely low blood pressure which was causing me to pass out a lot and have migraines at least 3 days a week. That winter, I spent a month wearing a heart monitor. It felt like I was constantly at the hospital or the doctor's office for blood tests, cat scans, MRI's, etc. During that time I started feeling extremely lonely. Besides my awesome parents, I felt like I had no one that I could rely on anymore. I started isolating myself from my friends, and really became pretty bitter toward them. I started becoming even more reliant on my boyfriend. I was spending entirely too much time focused on our unhealthy relationship which was past the point of repair. I was anxious, sad, and felt pretty worthless. My relationship with God was still pretty non-existent (on my side of things I mean). I questioned His existence a lot. And if He did exist, why would He care about me?

Things finally started looking up that spring. After my decision to come to Mizzou, things finally ended with that boyfriend (for good). My medicines were finally straightened out and after months of testing, I got a diagnosis. I made an attempt to repair my friendships the best I could, because I knew I didn't have much time left with them. It was probably around that time that I realized that I something had been missing my life. The things I had previously relied on hadn't proved to be fulfilling or trustworthy and I had to find something else to satisfy myself.

I spent my summer preparing for college. I was finally about to get the break and the change that I had been looking toward. I look back now and can tell that God was using this time to begin healing and softening my heart as I longed for something greater. When I arrived at Mizzou, I was instantly plugged in with my brother's church friends. I had been reluctant, but they were so welcoming, so nice, and made me feel like I was finally making a right decision. I finally felt at home, which wasn't a feeling I was really used to anymore. I was nervous to get too involved right away, but it soon started to become extremely evident to me that God was, and had been working in my life all along.

As I started learning more about Him, I began pursuing a personal relationship with Him and surely began to love Him again. It hasn't all been easy. I still have a lot of questions. I won't ever know all there is to know. Since beginning to love Him again, I have still been hurt by people, and by myself. I have still struggled with events from my past. But, it is in those struggles that I am reminded of God's grace. He is a loving, jealous, forgiving God. And I am His.

Last night I decided that it was the appropriate time to publicly profess my love for Him. I had been baptized when I was 6, but what 6 year old really knows much of anything? I am so blessed to be constantly surrounded by friends who encourage me and help me grow. I am so blessed to have a supportive family who has never left my side. I am so blessed to have a brother who baptized me in the name of the father, son, and the holy spirit. I am so blessed to have Jesus in my life.

Eyes closed, but you get it.

I was blessed to be baptized with 12 brothers and sisters of mine.
Here are just five of them who have had a tremendous impact on my life this past year.

My main girl, Morgan. 

Just a portion of our amazing community. Photo Cred: Casey Batezel

And the most awkward baptism award goes to... Chris and Anna! Well, it's only fitting.